How Parents Can Raise a Good Child
Sep 22, · Throughout history, strange child-rearing practices became the rule in a particular society and were thought to be the only right way to bring . Nov 16, · Steps 1. Teach your children the rules of your household (and those you want them to abide by). It may sound harsh, but you 2. Read to your children and with your children. Do not let them get used to watching TV all day. Read them to sleep, 3. Be a good example to your children. 88%().
We all want to raise responsible children. As my son said, surveying the littered park when he was three, "Don't grownups know they propefly to clean up their own messes? So how do we raise our kids to take responsibility for their choices and their impact on the world? Prkperly begin by seeing responsibility as something joyful for your child, instead of a burden. All children want to see themselves as response-able -- powerful and able to respond to what needs to be done.
They need this for their self esteem, and for their lives to have meaning. Children don't want just to be doted on. They need, like the rest of us, to feel like they matter to the world, like their lives make a positive contribution. So, you don't really need to teach kids to handle themselves responsibly in the world; you just need to teach them that they have the power to contribute positively, and to relate to them so that they want to do so.
The bottom line is that kids will be responsible to the degree that we support them to be. Notice that these lists focus on your child's span of control, rather than on tasks you want them to do.
There's a reason for that. When you focus on a list of tasks your child "should" do, you end up creating power struggles. Instead of your "holding him responsible," he becomes motivated to being responsibility for himself. It's a subtle shift, but it makes all the difference in the world. Begin by helping your child, until she learns it. She'll learn it faster if you can be cheerful and kind about it and remember not to worry about spilled milk.
Encourage her to help by handing her a sponge as upp pick one up yourself, even when it's easier to do it yourself. As long how to make epsom salt crystals fast you aren't judgmental about it--so she isn't defensive--she'll want to help clean up and make things better.
So when your toddler spills her milk, say "Oops, milk spilled. That's ok. We can clean it up," as you hand her a paper towel and pick one up yourself.
When your preschooler leaves her shoes scattered in your path, hand them to aa and ask her to put them away, saying kindly "We always clean up our own stuff. Properl will have to do this, in one form or what is the behaviorist approach, until they leave how to make pakistani chicken soup home.
But if your approach is positive and light-hearted, your child won't get defensive and whine that you should do the cleanup. And when kids hear the constant friendly expectation that "We always clean up our own messes Don't worry, I'll help Here's the paper towels for you; I'll get the sponge All children contribute to the rest of us in some way, regularly.
How to stop condensation on car windscreen behaviors you acknowledge how to install towing hitch grow. As your children get older, their contributions can increase appropriately, both within and outside the household. Uow need to grow into two kinds of responsibilities: their own self care, and contributing to the family welfare.
Research indicates that kids who help around the house are also more likely to offer help in other situations than kids who simply participate in their own self care.
Of course, you can't expect them to develop a helpful attitude overnight. It helps to steadily increase responsibility in age appropriate ways.
Invite toddlers to put napkins on the table, three year olds to set places. Four year olds can match socks, and five year olds can help you groom the dog. Six year olds are ready to clear the table, seven year olds to water plants, and eight year olds to fold laundry.
Again, notice that you're inviting and empowering your child, not guilting and burdening them. Unless you how to write application for jrf post your child to think of contributing to the family as drudgery, don't "make" him do chores without you until they are a regular part of your family routine, and one that your child does not resist.
Ho goal isn't getting this specific job done, it's shaping a child who will take pleasure in contributing and taking responsibility. Make the job fun. Give as much structure, support, and hands-on help as you need to, including sitting with him and helping for the first thirty times he kp the task, if necessary. Know that it will be much harder than doing it yourself.
Remind yourself that there's joy in these tasks, and communicate that, along with the satisfaction of a job well done. Eventually, he will be doing these tasks by himself.
That day will come much faster if he enjoys them. And it uup always be more work for you. But toddlers want desperately to master their physical worlds, and when we support them to do that, they step into the responsibility of being "response-able. You're working with your child to help him discover the satisfaction of contribution. That's more important than having the job done quickly or perfectly. Notice that you're also bonding, which is what motivates kids to keep contributing.
For instance, to the dallying child in the morning, instead of barking "Brush your teeth! Is your backpack packed? Don't forget your lunch! First, they master the bedtime routine and cleaning up toys and getting ready in the morning. Then they develop successful study habits and grooming habits. Finally, they learn basic life skills through repetition of household routines like doing laundry or making simple meals. When your daughter hurts her little brother's feelings, don't force her to apologize.
She won't mean it, and it won't help him. First, listen to her feelings to help her work out those tangled emotions that made her snarl at him. Then, once she feels better, ask her what she can do to make things better between them. Maybe she'll be lroperly to apologize. But maybe that will feel like losing face, and she would rather repair things with him by reading him a story, or helping him with his chore of setting the table, or giving him a big hug.
This teaches children that their treatment of others has a cost, and that they're always responsible for repairs when they do damage. But because you aren't forcing, she's able to CHOOSE to make hiw repair, which makes it feel good, and makes her more likely to repeat it.
What if your child resists repair? That comes from resentment, or what we might call "a chip on the shoulder. That's a bigger how does wind power get to our homes project that you'll need to be involved in, so start today by building trust, listening to your child's upsets, and acknowledging those old feelings.
This shows your child that you care, they aren't alone, and they can feel those old emotions and move past them. But at the same time that how to get patta for land in tamilnadu supporting your child to heal their past unhappiness, insist that they repair current interactions. If kids help pay from their own allowance for lost library books and cell phones, windows broken by their baseball, or tools they've left out to rust, the chances of a repeat infraction are slim.
Keep your promises to your child, and don't make excuses. Never label your child as "Irresponsible," because the way we see our kids is always a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, teach him the skills he needs to be responsible.
If he always loses things, for instance, teach him to stop anytime he leaves somewhere -- his friend's house, school, soccer practice -- and count off everything he needs to take home.
Begin on weekends during middle school, or earlier, if their schedule is busy. Just take hpw piece of paper, list the hours of the day on the left, and ask your child what he needs to get done this weekend.
Put in the baseball game, piano practice, the birthday party, and all the steps of the science project — shop for materials, build the volcano, write and print out the description. Be sure to block out downtime -- go how to get free map pack ice cream with dad, chill and listen to music.
Most kids find this keeps their stress level down, since they brign when everything will get done. Most important, it teaches them to manage their time and be responsible about their commitments. All kids need the experience of working for pay, which teaches them real responsibility in the real world. Few settings teach as much about responsibility as the world of working for pay outside the family.
We all, automatically, want to blame someone when things go wrong. It's as if fixing blame might prevent a recurrence of the problem, or absolve us of responsibility. In reality, blaming makes everyone defensive, more inclined to watch their back -- and to attack -- than to make amends.
It's the 1 cjild kids lie to their parents. Worse yet, when we blame them, kids find all kinds of reasons it wasn't really their fault -- at least in their own minds -- so they're less likely to take responsibility brng the problem is more likely to repeat.
Blame is the opposite of unconditional love. So why do we do it? To help us feel less out of control, and because we can't bear the suspicion that we also had some role, however small, in creating the situation. Next time you find yourself automatically beginning to blame someone, stop. You're modeling, remember? Then, just accept the situation. You can always come up with better solutions from a state of acceptance than a state of blame.
Studies show that people who take responsibility in any given situation are people who see themselves as willing to be different and stand what are the difference between iphone4 and 4s. That's the kind of kid you want to raise. What's age appropriate?
How to discipline your toddler
Oct 24, · The next time you find yourself getting impatient with your child, go and LOCK UP yourself in the bathroom, kitchen - just get away from your child. Go and cry, take a deep breath, count to ten, whatever it takes to calm you down and Then come back to your task at hand. I. Parents Must Set Goals. If you are a parent, you must have proper goals, and you must work diligently toward those goals. Whether you like it or not, if you have children you must recognize that you are responsible to raise your children properly. Too many parents simply don't want to accept their responsibility as parents. 1. Raise your child with the expectation that we always clean up our own messes. Begin by helping your child, until she learns it. She'll learn it faster if you can be cheerful and kind about it and remember not to worry about spilled milk.
Last Updated: April 2, References. This article was co-authored by Laura Marusinec, MD. She received her M. There are 18 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 19, times. Babies like being held, and people love to hold babies. While they are not quite as fragile as they might appear, babies do need proper support when being picked up to avoid unnecessary stress on their still-developing bodies. By providing proper support, and making sure you are in the right position, you can easily become an expert at picking up a baby safely and properly.
Before reaching out to pick up your baby, get close by and lean over him. Bend your knees slightly as you bend over so that you are lifting properly. If the baby is in a crib, take down the side rather than lift over the top. This will prevent extra strain to your arms and back as you lift over or around something. Reach toward your baby. While this seems obvious, it is important to do it where your baby can see you.
This includes extending and stiffening their legs, and widening or raising their arms. It may take a little bit of conditioning, but this can be a good way to make the baby a little easier to get a hold of. Put your hands under the baby. You want to get your hands underneath the baby so you can lift him up.
Make sure the fingers on your hand under the head are spread wide to support the neck. These spots, called fontanels, will feel soft and easy to break, but they are quite strong. After about six months, the baby should be able to hold his head steady without assistance, and even be able to flex it forward while sitting.
Pull the baby to your chest. Once your hands are in place, and you have a firm grip on the baby, pull him into your chest for the best support. While you can hold a baby out in front of you with your arms extended, it is best to carry him close to your chest for better support.
This is as much for you as the baby. Babies can be heavy, especially as they get older, and holding the baby closer to your chest will give you better support. This avoids too much pressure on your arms or back. Method 2 of Get close to the other person. This will make the passing quicker, and help provide support to the baby during the transition.
Stand if she is standing, or sit if she is sitting. Put your hands in the right places. Make sure your hands are in the right place to support the baby once she is passed to you. Place one hand under her head, with fingers spread under the neck, and the other hand under her rear. Tell the other person you are ready. Once your hands are in position, and you are ready to receive the baby, let the other person know.
You want the other person to know that you are taking the baby so she can release her. Pull the baby close to your chest. Once you have a firm hold on the baby, and the other person is ready to let go, pull the baby to your chest. This will allow you to secure your grip on her and set you up for however you would like to hold her.
Method 3 of Pick the baby up out of a chair. Since it will probably be harder to get your hands under everything from a chair, you can start by putting your hands underneath his arms.
If the baby is under four months, make sure to support the head as soon as possible. Make sure to keep your wrists as straight as possible to help your wrists. Lift out of a car seat.
Get into the car, and avoid twisting your body. If that means climbing into the car to make sure your weight is in there, the do that. Remember that the safest place for a car seat is in the middle of the backseat, it will be quite a reach for you without getting in the car first. At that weight, and beyond, the baby and the seat will be too heavy to carry without creating too much extra strain.
Be careful if you have a bad back. Whenever you pick up a baby, kneel down, bring the baby close to you, then stand up with your legs. Tighten your stomach muscles when you lift to keep the strain in your core, not your back. Pull a chair up close to the baby and sit in it while feeding in a high chair. You can take other steps when carrying to reduce back pain. Comfort a crying baby. It is okay, even natural, to pick up a crying baby. If you are picking up a crying newborn, help soothe the baby by gently swaying or making shushing sounds.
Once you determine whether he needs to be fed, is gassy, has a dirty diaper, or is hurting, you can make sure the baby gets what he needs.
However, some babies, especially really young ones, might cry for no reason. So, if you check out those things and everything still seems okay, then just do your best to soothe the baby. The regular crying can be frustrating, but it is important to keep your cool during these times. While you may want to get the baby to calm down quickly, it can be okay to let the baby fuss for 5 minutes while you figure out what might be wrong or allow the baby to calm down.
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Before picking up your baby, you should probably wash your hands. Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0. Once you pick your baby up, remember that there are a variety of ways to hold a baby properly. Your use of these will change depending on what you want to do after you pick the baby up. Even though they seem fragile, babies are surprisingly durable. It is highly unlikely you will snap off toes or pull out her arms.
Just remember not to shake your baby, and she should be fine. Related wikiHows How to. How to. More References 9. About this article.